depressive babbling that’s my specialty [lol]
depressive babbling that’s my specialty [lol]
she just asked if i wanted to come down and watch tv as though that would help anything. i’d just be sitting in a less comfortable location, nothing else changes
thanks but no thanks
i don’t want to get too real out of fear of being judged not for how i feel necessarily but for being too open.
like is she seeking attention? clearly i am. i mean aren’t we all to a certain extent?
we all want to be noticed.
we all want someone to give a…
we all want something, i just feel the desire to say what i want and how i feel without being scared of what you think.
last one for the night [or morning rather]
i am going to be 30 in 3 months and 2 and a half weeks
what happened to the hubby at 25
kids by 30
owning own business at 35
industry influencer at 40
ruling the world by who knows when but i’m pretty sure that was supposed to happen by yesterday
would you rather walk without crutches but use a leg brace that causes your foot to hurt to the point that you have to take off your shoe throughout the day as the side of your club foot digs into the foot plate and your knee is locked in it
walk with crutches, have your club foot corrected and use a less restrictive brace which you often don’t wear because it’s cumbersome to put on and limits the footwear options?
yeah i can’t decide either
went and got a pedi at a random nail place this past sunday.
i used to be self conscious about getting pedis because of my leg but the desire for cutely painted toes helped me overcome that.
the thing about my leg is not only is it scarred from my many surgeries, smaller and bearing some deformities from the effects of polio, it’s also weak with some muscles being nonexistent. so when the nail tech tells you to lift your leg up and you then have to struggle to lift it out with your hands it can make the experience not as relaxing as a pedi is meant to be.
often than not the nail tech catches on and helps lift my leg from the basin but i have def experienced ones who just sit there and i think to myself that they do see me struggling right? [sigh]
the tech this past weekend was one of the better ones to the point that she seemed sincerely hurt and concerned about my leg [i can often tell those are the moms, which was].
got the pedi in white, which is my go to toes color. it’s pretty safe as far as coordinating, yet fun.
still on crutches. over it! nah i’m beyond over it!
is it post polio syndrome?
do i just need even more pt?
should i pick out a wheelchair?
am i being dramatic at 2:54 in the morning?
remember blackplanet? i wonder if it still exists
[pauses to google blackplanet]
whoa, it does!
anyway it’s still existence bears no relevance here but back in day i would dear say it was my tumblr. i shared things from around the web i like, flexed my html skills [yes i had the custom background, music player and some animation effect, sigh], wrote about myself and of course posted pictures.
then came the day when i got a message from a guy that read:
you think you’re cute
that message hurt [as i clearly remember it till this day] but it was as though the messenger was saying:
how dare you post all these pictures of yourself as though you are worthy of being admired
like seriously that was an a—hole move on his part but i do subconsciously question posting a selfie out fear that the viewer will think:
she thinks she’s cute
that’s messed up right? like i should be just as selfie obsessed as the next millennial without hesitation right? i should duck face…actually scratch that, no one should duck face. NO ONE!
#MakeYouNoForget: “So I went home and asked my mother if I could be called Zoe. I remember she was cooking, and in her Nigerian accent she said, “Why?” I said, “Nobody can pronounce it.” Without missing a beat, she said, “If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.” - Uzo Aduba
Read the full interview here.
this reminds of the time i snapped on a coworker for not even attempting to pronounce the name of a new hire who was igbo.
just give it a try, most nigerian names are phonetical. no trick consonance thrown in to trip you up [lol]
5. yesterday morning when my crutches gave way, i thought I caught myself to then fall halfway down the stairs [classic!]
4. that time when we got a free appetizer at bon chon because i slipped and fell on the un-secure rug [nothing like a free app, am i right?]
3. when i was temping at nat geo and fell right in front of the cmo, now ceo, and the entire marketing department. damn you open floor plan workspaces [talk about getting making an impression]
2. attempting to step off the treadmill at a packed fitness first and somehow landing on my ass.
worst part - all machines are positioned facing the treadmills [doh!]
kinda ok part - no one acknowledged the fall [so that means it basically didn’t happen right?]
1. the rainy spring night on the washingtonian/rio boardwalk outside of guapos which resulted in 3 different hospitals, meaning 3 different ambulance rides [not as fun as you think] in a week. oh yeah and the fractured femur, can’t forget that [ah good times, good times]
#keepgettingbackup #amibionic #iambionic #arenthashtagstheworstbut for real tho #overit
kisses 😘 lol
happy saturday!!! 😁 rocking my @fakesocialitenyc sweatshirt before the full summer heat hits.
so finally returned to pick up my kafo brace. took a tad bit longer than expected [insert sarcasm here], here’s hoping it all goes well!
i finally got the leg brace!!!!! 😁😁😁😁😁 #kafo #phatbrace #brace #orthoses (at Nascott Orthotics)
burying my head back in the sand
it’s all too much to try and deal with right now.
but the more i put it off the worse it gets [sigh]
where’s a reset button for life when you need one?