so last tuesday i began my first temp assignment. i decided a little while before i left for nigeria back in july that i cannot sit around and do nothing till my next procedure all the way in december. i began looking for actual full-time employment but realistically beginning a job that i would have to quit in a couple of months [or request an indefinite leave, lol] would not be fair to the company. so temping it was, now a week into it i decided to share a report on my newly gained insight and also finally make an actual posting!

1. oh how i have missed being a functioning adult. as nice as it might have been to be done with school and have a much needed break, i so underestimated the amount of time it would actually take to recoup. i somehow believed i would be done with both procedures by now and on my way back to nyc. well yeah that is clearly not the case and to be honest i came to realize what i really missed about nyc was functioning. the day to day activities, friends, work, hell i even missed the craziness that was [is] parsons. the metro to work and the short distance from the train to my building is enough to put me back into city mode. ah the city how i’ve missed you [no offense surburbia but you’re getting old].

2. it takes me 15 minutes to walk the 3 blocks from farragut north to my building at 20th street and L. now not a very fascinating fact but on my first day i somehow managed to be running a tad bit late and my God if i could have willed myself to walk at a faster pace i would have. but alas i couldn’t, coupled with the wrong footwear to attempt a speedier dash, plus the hold up of signing-in in the lobby, i managed to make it to the office around 9:02, a tad sweaty, i mean glistening and bummed that i had missed my actual arrival time by 2 minutes. to be honest i don’t believe it made a big difference [they requested me back past my end date of last friday and my supervisor who was out last week said she had heard good things about me. yay me!], but it was the fact that no matter how hard i wanted to i could not for the life of me make myself move any faster. now i know what you might be thinking: are you new? yes i know i know, i’ve been aware of the limitations my leg puts on me from as long as i could remember but man it can be frustrating. i mean really 3 blocks in 15 minutes, 0.35 miles in 15 minutes! At the gym i look over to the people close by me and they are usually making a nice pace, burning the calories away, then i look down at my monitor to observe my progress at 2.0mph pace, taking me 30 minutes to complete a mile and all i can think is bahumbug! lol. but seriously nothing is worse than having the desire for something, the drive to go for it but lack the ability to actually make it happen. i complain to my younger brother and cousin about the annoying walk to work and they usually respond with a consoling response, or silence of not knowing what else to say that hasn’t been said then the conversation ends with me feeling bad for constantly complaining when there is nothing neither they nor myself can do about the situation, and unsatisfied with their response. a part of me might actually want them to say that sucks and share in my frustration.

rather than a pity party, i want you to get angry with me, for me. what good will that be? hell if i know

boots, crutches and canes, o my! lol [corny i know]

today was the last day of pt [well till my next procedure, whenever that will be] and it was less than delightful. i was excited to be done with it but sad that i would be missing the people that helped me get to this point. but today i arrived at 9:45am signed in and waited. a few minutes later i was told i wouldn’t be seeing my regular therapists but some random stranger! a bit dramatic but that was how i felt! like really my last day you are going to give me someone who knows absolutely nothing about my case so basically my appointment will be slowed by their learning curve and the time wouldn’t be used efficiently. well 20 minutes later i was finally called back by the stranger and my brat-mode kicked in. i was just not in the mood for unnecessary small talk, certainly not in the mood to answer questions that 2 other therapists i have been seeing would know. an ankle massage in, few balance exercises and a mini bitch fit to one of the techs i had befriended, my main therapist and the not so stranger came over and apologized for the inconvenience. now i just felt like a brat, lol. i mean i know i had a right to be upset but i was being a bit rude as well and that’s not me, so for the rest of the appointment i decided to coorperate with the lady formerly known as the stranger.

it’s been a long journey from my first appointment back on december 15th. 4 months of not knowing if i’ll get off the darn crutches. i remember all those past posts of me fearing the worse, wondering how long it would take me to get on my feet again. still have to wear an afo for ankle support and use a cane, but i am cast free, air cast boot free and finally crutches free [can i get an amen!]. i am still not 100%, was never really but i am glad that i am definitely closer to getting back to normal, my normal and now with the foot straighter, a bit better than my normal.

next doctor’s appointment is may 25th, so until then just gonna keep walking.

as a parting gift i got a water bottle which i jokingly had one of techs sign:

abi! [she clearly hasn’t read my previous rant about my name]

yey! no more trouble maker! :) i will miss you :( goodluck w/ everything! keep smiling :)

♥ jamaica

i’ll miss ya too chica.

at pt yesterday there was another patient doing as far as i was concerned death defying balancing acts. she was a runner who also played soccer twice a week. as i watched her do one particular exercise that had her holding herself up on her side using her elbow for what looked like an eternity, i told her she was my hero and i want to be like her when i grow up. everyone laughed but honestly i wish i could be a runner. one of the girls you see with their mp3 player strapped to their arm, custom fitted running shoes, and a perfectly coordinating running outfit [i just realized i described my awesome track star cousin. go towson tigers track! lol]. though along with all that comes a hot bod as well that isn’t the appeal to me, i just want to run and feel the wind on my face as i breeze by everything in my path, only stopping once i get to my destination, not because of pain or discomfort.

to be honest i just want to walk faster for a longer period of time and i am slowly on my way. i walked up and down the long hallway twice in 5 minutes only stopping 3 times. in the past i could only do it once, stopping 4 times [yay me!] gotta celebrate the small victories in life.